


Misery Business

by intoner1



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Fluff, Hinata gets drunk, Idk what to tag this as I'm so sorry, M/M, Oneshot, based off of a tweet i saw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-16
Updated: 2021-01-16
Packaged: 2021-03-14 12:08:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28795152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/intoner1/pseuds/intoner1
Summary: Kenma's love for Paramore lands him a boyfriend.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou
Comments: 2
Kudos: 49





	Misery Business

**Author's Note:**

> Check end notes for information!

_These walls are too damn thin_ Kenma thought while his speaker played his music. The volume was turned down to the lowest possible setting but even then, his downstairs neighbor banged on her ceiling, his floor.

“Turn it down! I’m tryna sleep!” A woman’s voice yelled, despite it only being 9 pm on a Friday who sleeps that early on a fucking weekend? Okay…lots of people do. Maybe Kenma was being selfish but he didn’t care, Kenma had a rough week and he wanted to blow off some fucking steam by listening to angry punk rock. Sure, he could just put in some headphones and blast the music as loud as he wanted to, but it wouldn’t be the same. The song changed to one of his favorites—Misery Business.

The blond resigned himself to air instruments and dancing around, instead of screaming the lyrics like he usually did. Hopefully that would be enough compromise for his downstairs neighbor, as the guitars led to the chorus there was another bang. Not from his downstairs neighbor but to his left _‘god damn it’_ a new neighbor must have moved in and if the noise complaints were two against one then…Kenma prepared himself for the inevitable scolding as he went to turn off the speaker.

“Play Hard Times!” A male’s voice called. Kenma froze in his tracks he wasn’t expecting…that.

“W-what?” He asked back, a bit shocked at the request.

“After this song play Hard Times!” The voice repeated, sounding more annoyed. Kenma responded with okay before adding the song to the queue utterly shocked at what had happened.

It wasn’t often other people appreciated the American punk rock he listened to—especially when blasted from his apartment. To hear someone not only appreciate his exquisite music taste but also make a request, well, it was new. The blond smiled to himself as the next song came on.

************

This went on for weeks, Kenma would play whatever songs were on his playlist and his neighbor would request certain songs and he would happily oblige. He always stopped the music at 11 hoping that would be enough to keep his neighbor from filing a noise complaint against him. It felt good to share something with someone, even if Kenma had never seen the man’s face. For all he knew he could be a teenager fucking with him, or a serial killer trying to lure his next victim through music…like the pied piper!

‘ _okay it’s probably not that’_ Kenma shook the thought off as fast as it came, he’d been spending way too much time with Hinata. His phone then buzzed, well, speak of the devil.

**From: Hinata**

Hi!!!!!! How are things going with ur cute neighbor??

**From: Kenma**

lol i haven’t seen him yet idk if we can describe him as cute.

 **From Hinata:**  
But he sounds sooooooooooo cute omg, it’s like the little mermaid but instead of hearing ur voice he’s hearing ur music <33333\. u should invite him over on friday so we can all hang out.

**From Kenma:**

1\. when did i invite you over?

2\. for all we know he could be a murderer.

**From Hinata:**

1\. I invited myself. 

2\. to him! Stalk the mailboxes or smth omg and if he doesn’t seem murdery invite him over to hang out Friday at 7 and if he does then I’ll come over for your protection deal?

**From: Kenma**

….deal

Kenma locked his phone and leaned back into his beanbag chair, he definitely wasn’t expecting to be social anytime soon but at least Hinata gave him a three-day head start. He figured Kageyama would be joining them as well. Kenma booted up his WiiU, trying to think of a game plan to ~~lure~~ hang out with his neighbor.

************

Kenma’s alarm went off way too early, he’d been up all night trying to come up with a way to invite his neighbor over, he mulled over his options as he rolled out of bed to shower. ‘ _I could write him a letter_ ’ he thought ‘ _but he may not check his mail everyday’_ Kenma couldn’t remember the last time he checked his mail—he should probably do that at some point. Staking out the place to wait for the man to come out seemed creepy and going over to his neighbors’ place seemed desperate. Kenma wracked his head for an idea, each sounding crappier than the rest maybe he could fake sick to get out of it but he still wants to see his friends, neighbor or no neighbor. Just as the blond found himself giving up on ideas, he ran into someone while exiting his apartment.

“Oops sorry” he muttered walking away.

“Hey, are you the one who plays the music on the weekends?” A familiar voice asked and Kenma turned around and looked up from his phone. It was _him_. A tall man with black hair spiked like a rooster’s, brown eyes, and a smug aura. Kenma felt he had been staring for way too long without saying anything he quickly uttered yes, slightly embarrassed.

“Cool, but I always imagined you would look different,” the man said, closing the gap between them in two long strides.

“What did you expect? Lots of people listen to those songs.”

“Yeah but not many people blast it from their apartment for all their neighbors to hear. I figured you were a teenager…. you aren’t a teenager, are you?” He questioned looking down at the shorter boy and cocking an eyebrow.

“N-no I go to Todai University what about you?”

“Damn, you’re smart I go to Jindai University” he responded, “what’s your name? I’m Tetsurō Kuroo.” He held out his hand.

“Kenma” he took the hand and shook it. God Kuroo’s hands are soft and he’s not bad looking either, he could pick up Kenma and throw him off of a highway and he’d probably thank him. Out of nowhere, a surge of confidence hit him, “you know…a few of my friends are coming over on Friday so we may have to put a raincheck on our weekly jam sessions.” ‘ _Jam sessions? Could I be any lamer?’_ He scolded himself, hoping that playing cute would offset the usage of the term.

“What a shame…” Kuroo took a step closer, closing the gap even more Kenma suddenly found it hard to breathe. “Maybe I could swing by? If you don’t mind of course.”

“Only if you bring something, I don’t know how my friends would feel about someone crashing but if you brought dinner.” He looked up, attempting puppy dog eyes but probably failing. How exactly do people flirt? He wished he had boobs to shove them on Kuroo’s face or something. Kuroo chuckled and tucked Kenma’s hair behind his ear. “I can bring dinner would that work?” Kenma nodded his hair, blushing and completely speechless scared of what sound he might make if he attempted to talk.

“What time is it?”

“S-seven” his response was barely a whisper. “I’ll see you then.” Kuroo smiled and sauntered away. Leaving Kenma a blushing mess, is that how you flirt?

************

“Glancing at the door won’t make him come any faster” Kageyama dryly stated as Kenma glanced away from his video game to the door for the 50th time. Hinata poked his boyfriend in the stomach with his elbow, “don’t be rude.” He scolded.

“No, no he’s right” Kenma paused the game and stood to pace, “Do I look okay?” He asked no one in particular. He didn’t dress up for the occasion, but he did try to look cute with a pair of skinny jeans, he even put his hair up, but he didn’t feel the look was working.

“Listen you look fine everything will be fine.” Hinata stood in front of his worried friend and took his hands, “you’re going to seduce the fuck out of your neighbor and then he’s going to fuck you.” Kenma blushed deeply and looked down.

“I don’t know about that….” he muttered, “but you’re probably right, everything will be fine.” He huffed and sat down at his beanbag chair, “wanna play something?” He offered.

Hinata jumped at the idea, “I can now finish Rainbow Road without falling off, I’m gonna kick your ass.”

After five intense rounds of Mario Kart (Kenma winning four of them) a knock at the door came, “Hey, hey, hey!” A booming voice called, causing Kenma to jump and slip on a banana peel, handing his victory to his young friend.

“Ever heard of knocking?” Kenma asked, agitated at the loss he moved to greet Kurro who was taking off his shoes.

“The door was unlocked it was calling my name.” Kuroo grinned, “plus I brought beer to make up for being late!” He triumphantly held up the beers by the yokes.

“My hero” Kenma replied, taking both the beers and the pizza to set them down, “thanks for getting the food.”

“Yeah, thanks!” Hinata ran into the kitchen and grabbed three slices of pizza, “I’m starving!” He flopped on the couch and started to eat completely oblivious to his surroundings.

“That’s Hinata” Kenma remarked, “and the person telling him to eat slower is Kageyama his boyfriend” he grabbed a beer and a slice of pizza. It never occurred to him that maybe he invited a homophobe into the home until his mind started racing again—what if Kurro hates gay people? What if he’s disgusted? What if—

“Cool.” His thoughts were cut off by his neighbors’ response. “You wanna join them?” Kenma nodded and sat down with his food on his beanbag chair and Kurro sat in an armchair.

“Kageyama stop yelling at Shōyō and get your food.” Kenma flatly stated, he turned to the guest of honor ready to ask a question, but nothing came to mind.

“I would like to apologize for being late again, volleyball practice went over, and the traffic was a bitch.” Kuroo said, almost as if he could tell what Kenma was thinking. Hinata nearly did a spit take at that statement, “ _you_ play volleyball?” He asked, “for what school?”

“Jindai I can’t wait for the season to start we’re gonna kick everyone’s asses.” He widely grinned.

“W-well you’re gonna have to kick our asses first!” Hinata challenged and stood in front of Kuroo, “Kageyama and I are on our school’s team and we’re going to kick everyone’s asses! Including yours!” He stood tall, with a face full of pride. Kuroo chuckled, “well I guess we’ll have to see.” He put his hands up in surrender and Hinata nodded before going to get another beer. “Kenma played volleyball in high school but he didn’t continue in college. I don’t know why he was super good.” Hinata called out from the kitchen. Suddenly Kenma could feel all eyes on him and he looked down, embarrassed by the attention.

“Really? What school?” Kuroo inquired.

“Nekoma.”

“No fucking way? _You_ were on Nekoma’s team? That’s’ fucking amazing. Why aren’t you playing anymore?”

“Didn’t want to.” Kenma shrugged, “I don’t like to get sweaty or run so I’m done playing.”

“Which is a shame, you’re a very good setter” Kageyama quietly cut in, “awwww Kageyama _does_ have a heart.” Hinata teased.

“Shut up you moron, I was trying to give a compliment!” Kageyama bit back. Hinata responded by repeatedly singing, “Kameyama has a heart” while Kageyama broke into a cycle of cursing and name calling.

Kenma smiled, “you learn how to tune them out eventually” he said turning back to Kuroo.

“I knew you looked familiar; I can’t believe I didn’t recognize Nekoma’s setter. You were always so…calculating” Kuroo marveled, “I just don’t understand. You come from a powerhouse, I’m sure there were scouters recruiting you so why didn’t you join a team?”

Kenma sighed and pulled his knees up to his chest, “Don’t laugh but” he paused and took another deep breath, “I only joined because a boy I had a crush on was on the team. I thought I could impress him, and I did but he was tragically heterosexual.” Kurro burst into laughter, “hey!” Kenma threw a pillow at Kurro’s head, “I said no laughing!”

Kurro responded in between giggles, “I know, I know and I’m sorry but—” another wheeze, “that’s so fucking _gay_.” He broke into another laughing fit, “you mean to tell me—" _wheeze_ “--that you joined the volleyball team” another giggle, “for a straight guy?”

Kenma’s face was burning, “w-well I was a teenager okay? We all make mistakes when we’re young, like inviting you here was one I just made.”

“Aw come on, you can follow _me_ to the volleyball team.”

“You’re an asshole” Kenma responded with a slight smile.

“C’mon kitten you know you want this” Kuroo teased with a huge smile on his face.

“Do not.”

“Do too.”

“Do not.”

“Do too.”

“Do no—”

“Oh my god shut up and kiss already!” Hinata interrupted, already drunk from two beers. He sat on his boyfriend’s lap, “if _you_ don’t kiss his stupid face” he pointed a finger at Kenma, “I’m gonna kiss his stupidly handsome face. He looks like a less hot version of Kageyama and I kinda like that.” He slurred, putting his head back to rest on the arm of the couch.  
Kuroo raised an eyebrow, “thanks?” Hinata responded with a thumbs up,

“I apologize for…. him” Kageyama stated, glaring at his partner, “and how are you drunk already? You’re such a lightweight.”

“I’m not a lightweight” Hinata muttered and sat up to lay his head in his partners’ shoulder, “I’m not even drunk.” He burrowed his head into Kageyama’s neck and took a deep breath, “you smell _so sexy_.” He slurred and closed his eyes.

“I should probably take him home” Kageyama commented, picking up Hinata bridal shower, “this was fun thanks for inviting us over” he waved to Kenma. They exchanged goodbyes and Kenma turned his head towards Kuroo, “you like Mario Kart?”

Both men spent the rest of the night listening to music and playing video games.

“Damn, you’re good” Kuroo commented, “maybe we should raise the stakes a little and make it strip Mario Kart” he teased.

“Don’t be gross you’d be the only one naked.” Kenma smiled, “besides it’s getting late shouldn’t you go home?” Kuroo sighed and stood up.

“I guess so” Kenma stood up after him, “this was fun, we should do this again.” He moved a strand of Kenma’s hair out of his face.

“Yeah we should.” Kenma agreed, leaning into the touch.

“But maybe next time we should do it alone and go out.”

“Are you asking me on a date?”

“Whoa there kitten, I didn’t say anything about a date that was all you.” Kuroo joked, keeping his tone light, “so what do you say?”

“I’ll only say yes if you are in fact asking me on a date.” Kenma responded, “and don’t call me kitten.”

“Fine I’m asking you on a date, do you accept?”

“Yes.” Kenma smiled and pressed a chaste kiss to Kuroo’s lips, standing on his tippy toes.

Kuroo stepped back, shocked at being kissed, “damn let me take you out to dinner first” he chuckled. “I’ll see you later, goodnight.” Kenma waved goodbye, butterflies fluttering in his stomach. He never expected his love of Paramore to score him a date but Hayley Williams works in mysterious ways.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone! Thank you so much for reading this. This fic is based off of this tweet: https://twitter.com/dominoedoe/status/1346500408617947136?s=20 which I thought was hilarious so I decided to write a story based off of it. I haven't written fanfiction in years so I'm very rusty, constructive criticism is welcome.


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